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Mario: The Great One
by -Ben Freid

Few today would question the prominence of Mario, or for that matter his brother Luigi, as a video game star. Mario has been with us now for a decade and a half now, and his popularity has hardly waned, as evidenced by the popularity of his latest release, Mario 64 for the Nintendo 64. Next to Mario, the fame of Sonic the Hedgehog, Lara Croft, the DOOM Guy, and even Pac Man (not to mention Mario's ancient nemesis himself, Mr. Kong) are but passing fads. But let us now consider his rise to fame.

Mario began his career as a supporting actor for another video game great - Donkey Kong. They starred in an arcade game which cast Donkey Kong as the villain from whom Mario must rescue the girl (as is the case with any heart throb, Mario's heroines are remembered usually as mere props for the true star). At this time we knew only that Mario was a construction worker - his vocation as a plumber would be revealed later. Mario here has yet to develop many of his later abilities: For example, he can only fall a short distance before he, er, perishes; in later games Mario showed himself to be capable of performing far more challenging jumps (jumps impossible for most mere mortals) without injury. But Mario is still recognizable, even if he is under the shadow of Donkey Kong. Unfortunately for Mr. Kong, Mario soon show more brightly than he, and it was not for another decade that he reappeared at full strength in the masterpiece Donkey Kong Kountry. (There were intervening appearances, but they are not of the same note as Mario's successes, certainly.)

Mario next appeared, along with his brother Luigi, in Mario Bros. Luigi was introduced for the reason of allowing two players to compete simultaneously. Hence, another character must be introduced, or Mario must remain an anonymous and faceless clone. Mario Bros. was also Mario's first appearance as a plumber, though it was his only game to show him on the job. After two apperances, Mario's name was beginning to stick the same way Pitfall Harry's did: recognizable, but only marginally significant. His next appearance changed that.

Super Mario Bros. was a smashing success, and, naturally, the game that forever burned Mario's name in to the minds (and thumbs) of people everywhere. Mario and Luigi were the only sane things in this fantastic and surreal (if invigorating) quest to rescue the Princess (this time a not quite so forgettable heroine) from Bowser. Its weirdness aside, Super Mario Bros. was Nintendo's flagship game for the NES in 1985, and it quickly gained popularity, further bolstering the success of its already recognizable stars. Super Mario Bros. was what made Mario what we know him as today. It showed that he could take falls from clouds and survive, that he could jump ten stories or so at a time, and that he had the ability to swim.

If Super Mario Bros. was odd, then there is no word to describe Super Mario Bros. 2, so once again we must overlook its bizarreness. Here we discover for the first (and still only time) that Luigi is taller than Mario and that he has an annoying habit of kicking his feet as he jumps. SMB2 was also the first appearance of the Princess in a starring role, along with a mushroom whom nobody really cares about anyway. I should note here that SMB2 as it appeared in the US was not the real Super Mario Bros. 2, which never left the Japanese shore. It is instead the modification of an unrelated game to give it a Mario fasad. Of course, SMB2 also used different gameplay elements than the other Super Mario Bros. games, e.g., Mario did not kill enemies by jumping on them or throwing fireballs at them, but picking them up and heaving them to their very destruction. These differences, put succinctly, screwed everything up. Nevertheless, Super Mario Bros. 2 further cemented Mario's fame and success.

Super Mario Bros. 2 Super Mario Bros. 3

Super Mario Bros. 3 brought Mario closer what he had been in SMB1. Once again he was stomping enemies and breaking bricks with his head; the real Mario had returned. However SMB3 also introduced some new weapons into Mario and Luigi's arsenal. They could now become Raccoon Mario (or Luigi) and fly, or Frog Mario to swim better, among other things. Whereas such things could have negatively affected gameplay, they actually enhanced it (although after the second game in the series, any thing closer to the original was a welcome change). Super Mario Bros. 3, a wildly popular game, showed that Mario wasn't dead yet, and paved the way for a forceful return when the Super Nintendo was released.

Super Mario World, once again Nintendo's flagship product on its new console the SNES, took most of its elements from the earlier Mario games, especially (of course) SMB3. It used the Super Mario 1 and 3 run, jump, and squish model, and pitted Mario against various Bowser relatives who hid out in castles. It simplified Mario once again, only allowing him the ability to throw fireballs and fly (although they took away the mondo rad raccoon tail and ears and gave him a more mundane cape); the Frog suits and such were gone. It also introduced an important Mario ally, Yoshi the dinosaur whom Mario could ride like a horse. It is interesting to note that Yoshi has been one of the biggest video game stars since his introduction; but he, unlike Mario, was unable to pass in popularity the one who gave him his first shot at stardom. Super Mario World was Mario's last great appearance, though there always have been many lesser ones; Mario has had countless cameos, and, of course, there is also the Super Mario Land series for Gameboy. These however more capitalized on Mario's fame than advanced it.

Mario and Luigi Through the Years
Donkey Kong
Mario Bros.
Atari 2600 Versions Donkey Kong Super Mario Bros. Super Mario Bros. 2 Super Mario Bros. 3

Mario is certainly today the most recognizable video game star, though his fame is probably less today than it was in the eighties (Lara Croft seems to overshadow everyone for one thing). Pac Man was the first video game character to build name recognition, but he was not able to sustain it the way Mario was. Sonic always tried to be as famous as Mario, but the clout of Nintendo and the more general appeal of the Mario games simpler gameplay kept his popularity always second to Mario's. Lara Croft was the first 3D game star to gain Mario's kind of name recognition (sorry Duke) courtesy of Tomb Raider's success (and the size and shape of Ms. Croft's bustline), but she is still too new to have proved as successful as Mario. (Far too few gamers know who Kyle Katarn, another important 3D game star, is, but this is not a forum for discussing the superiority of Dark Forces, or so I keep trying to convince myself...) And so, I declare Mario to be the greatest and most recognizable video game star to date. Long live the King!

 

Life Gone Kra-Z 1.3

"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." --Voltaire

Ah, it's good to be back in the warmth and sunshine of Spring, eh? The Dixie Chicks are back too with a new single. If you haven't heard yet, it's called "Not Ready to Make Nice." Now, I can't stand cuntry music. Hate it, actually. In fact, it's one of the very few rifts between my girlfriend and me. And this song tears that rift a new asshole.

Three years ago, when our esteemed President first took his Coked-Up-Cowboy act on an International tour, the Dixie Chicks were on one as well. They were in England when the lead singer made her opinion of the lead American quite clear: "Just so you know, we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas." All Hell broke loose in Dixieland. County stations stopped playing their music and videos, fans became rabid, rallying to destroy the group's tapes, CDs and concert tickets, and writing threatening letters.

The singer apologized to Bush for being disrespectful to him, and asserted that she was NOT Un-American, but was a concerned American Mother upset that Bush rushed to war, putting soldiers' lives at risk. Now, they're not apologizing anymore, and they're pissed about what everyone said about them. Pretty ballsy, huh? I'm rather impressed. Not only have they alienated most of their fan base with their statements, their new single, recorded in more Pop fashion than Country, tells the former fans that THEY'RE the ones that need to apologize. Yee-ha!

When we first started discussing this debacle, my Luve asked "why do you give a shit? You hate country music." Because it's not about the Music, it's about the Message. A singer expressed her opinion during a concert. Because it was not shared with their audience, they were banished from the industry. Granted, I agree with the Chicks' assessment of Gee Dubya, but that is immaterial. There are much bigger issues at hand namely Freedom of Speech and Patriotism.

Most argue that this is a matter of Patriotism: you never badmouth the President on foreign soil. If that is the core belief, as it is with my Wonderful Will-Be-Wife, then that's all there is to it. It's a principle that is either agreed upon or not, but it's just an idea. Like Religion: those that believe always agree with you, and those that don't, won't understand. Like me.

Patriotism isn't a BAD thing. But, three years ago, our country slipped from the manic Patriotism that erupted after 9/11 into Nationalism, the belief that our country is better than every other, and we should impose our ways on them. Exposing that stance isn't the same as hating America, as some argue, it's just disrespectful to Nationalists. Think: the lone German bad mouthing the Nazis.

Hey, I'm a Guinea from Jersey; I know the rules about Respect. If you watch The Sopranos, you do too. You never disrespect the Family.

But if Tony decided he was going to send Chrissy and company into NY to tear shit up, capture a Boss, and impose their values on a Chinese Family, it would start a Holy War. If done under the guise of Spreading Freedom, everyone would see right through it and try to fight it. John and the boys from NY would be up in arms; Tony's own Capos would be crazed. And you can bet the Bada Bing that there would be a LOT of disrespect towards Tony.

So what does this all come down to? Hurt feelings over a show of disrespect? A celebrity being "unpatriotic?" Or is this something else? Is all the hoopla over the assumption that all country singers are supposed to be unabashedly Republican supporters?

I don't think this argument has anything to do with Patriotism. I think country fans are just angry that a band they listen to has a different political opinion than the rest of the sheep.

"Sheep." A group of people who believe what the person next to them believes, never straying from the group, and expecting anyone like them, or that they like, to do the same. You can spot sheep by the following the sounds of regurgitating talk points and the bashing of anyone who doesn't spew those points.

Random thought: if Eddie Vedder spouted off in Italy that "George Bush is a Muppet controlled by a crucifix and Dick Chaney's hand up his ass," not a single Red Stater would protest Pearl Jam. This isn't about Patriotism; it's about perceived betrayal of fans of country music, not of America. The Dixie Chicks hurt fans' feelings.

If Patriotism was the true ideal, Love of Country would mean the American ideal of Free Speech would be protected. It's not a Right that gets suspended because we're at war, or because the opinion expressed is unpopular or criticizes the government. It's not a Right that we apply or deny on a whim. It is what defines this country as a Bastion of Freedom.

Under our President, we're fighting for other people to have Freedom. In this country, we're taking those freedoms away. To support this President is to support his assault on the Freedom of Privacy with unwarranted wire taps and his condemning segments of our population to a second-class citizenship of less-than-equal rights, be they Minorities recovering from lost lives after Katrina, Immigrants trying to live here, or Gays just trying to Live.

As Americans, we should be protecting those rights. We should celebrate the Voices of Dissent shouting that our leaders have gone astray and abandoned OUR rights. The people that founded this country were Voices of Dissent.

I respect the Dixie Chicks for standing their ground in the face of adversity, for telling the blind and angry who abandoned them and sometimes threatened them, that THEY are the ones who should apologize. As Americans, we owe them that apology.

get.kra.z@gmail.com.

… Kra-Z is an Artist. 'Nuff said. He lives and plays in Las Vegas, but his heart is still on stage at the Jersey Shore. See his work @

artgonekra-z.com …

IVNET.tv UPDATE

Looks like things are full go for the ivnet.tv show. The first episode films May 14th @ the PNC bank art center. The show concept is simple.. "TAILGATING W/Gleny" will be a tailgating event captured unscripted and live. It should be fun and crazy. The first tailgate is the Depeche Mode show, and their new album has a good youth draw, and some classic stuff should make this a multi-ages event. The show is going to be 8 episodes all filmed at different tailgates.. So if you wanna be involved, just let me know and come on out

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FUCK DIRECT TV!

Apr. 19, 2006
Ang Frazetta
The Big Weapon



Entrepreneur Vincenzo Lipinski testing out his system atop his home in Long Branch,NJ.


"YES, THAT'S RIGHT, FUCK DIRECT TV!", exclaims Rooney's only server who gets no ass, penny wannabe stockbroker, and now mega billionaire satellite broadcaster. After first attempting a friendly merger with satellite mogul Direct TV, and then a hostile takeover, Lipinski said, "FUCK THIS, I'M GOING OUT ON MY OWN AND WILL FUCKING CRUSH THOSE BASTARDS", AND DISH NETWORK, FAUGEDABOUTIT, YOUR NEXT". Little did Direct TV know but Lipinski has truly revolutionized the satellite broadcasting industry. While sitting in his trailor one evening, jerking off to the Met's game, in the outskirts of Long Branch. Lipinski was having great difficulty rubbing one off to David Wright, his boyhood idol when he stepped to the plate. The weather had turned for the worse, and Lipinski's screen had lost it's signal and turned to snow. Although his 1974 Airstream Trailor encapsulates him in nothing but alumimun, he usually has no trouble receiving his satellite signal from Direct TV, only in inclement weather. Lipinski said, "Come on guy's, THIS BLOWS!, there has to be a better way to receive a better gooder signal!" That's when it hit him, a startling revelation that has rocked the world! "My ears are so fucking huge that If I mounted 2 satellite dishes in place of them, no one would know the fucking difference. Hey!, and with two dishes I would double the strength of my signal". After an 18 hour surgical procedure, Lipinski's ears were removed and replaced with two HD high velocity mini dishes. With VINNY TV, one can log in to over 1 million stations from Antartica to Outer Mongolia with no interruptions. Earthquakes, tornados, even a tsunami. No fucking problems, those ears are lethal. "This is Vinny Lipinski, not only the president of VINNY TV, but a user as well, for a limited time only I will offer you 3 free months of VINNY TV, and free installation! After 3 months you only pay 29.95 a month, and that's for FUCKING EVER! As a special bonus, you are also eligible to enter the VINNY TV sweepstakes, where one lucky winner gets to grab on to my fucking dishes and get their cock sucked!. ACT NOW, DON'T GET SHUT OUT. 1-800-VINNY TV.


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